Dr. Nelson says overcoming shyness is like trying to push a boulder up a mountain. You wouldn't want to push it straight up in one great shove, but you can push it slowly a little at a time. He suggests that those who are physiologically shy should make challenging but achievable goals and then work gradually but steadily at overcoming their shyness.
Nick Reisner, 17, from Midvale, Utah, says he feels shy around people he doesn't know well. But he set the goal of "getting to know people in situations where I don't know them," Nick says. "You need to try to have experiences that get you out of your comfort zone." Nick says that as he became more comfortable, he found that "it became fun to start talking to people."
Anna Melville, 23, an outgoing young adult from San Jose, California, remembers an experience she had when she was 12 and "incredibly shy." She went to a stake youth activity where she just stayed with the friends she knew until one friend brought over some new people.
"One of the new boys asked me a question, and suddenly it seemed like everybody's eyes were on me, and I couldn't think of an answer," she remembers. "At that moment, I panicked and left the room in a hurry. I ran down the hall with tears running down my face and hid myself in a classroom until I calmed down. I just couldn't handle the pressure."
So how did she get where she is today? By pushing the shyness boulder away a little at a time.
"At first I would only hang out with a few people, but slowly, as I did this, I became more confident around others," Anna says. She would tell youth that they need to stretch themselves. "Force yourself to try a new thing, and whether you're successful or not, you'll be better for trying it."