Why Am I Shy?

There are two types of shy people according to Dr. Larry Nelson, an associate professor of human development at Brigham Young University whose research focuses on shyness. The first type of shy people are physiologically shy. They are born with a nervous system that is quick to respond in stressful situations and slow to calm back down afterward.

In order for non-shy people to understand, Dr. Nelson uses the analogy of watching a scary movie. The average person enters the theater with normal breathing and heart rate. When the scary part of the movie comes, their blood pressure rises, their breathing becomes more shallow, and their muscles tense. So they start at a low stress level and then increase.

A physiologically shy person, by contrast, is already at a heightened level of stress before they get to the stressful situation. So when they get stressed, their response is much more elevated than the average person. Their bodies' reactions basically overwhelm them.

Dr. Nelson says about 15 percent of people (almost 1 in 7) are born physiologically shy. However, every year he will ask his students to raise a hand if they think they are shy, and usually more than 60 percent do. So, why do so many people label themselves as shy?

"They think that the fact that their heart starts to beat faster on a first date or at a job interview or while speaking in church means they are shy," Dr. Nelson explains. "Well, that's a normal response to those settings."

Another reason for the difference may be because some of those people are self-consciously shy. This type of shyness happens often among youth when they become very preoccupied with what other people think of them.

"There are some individuals who are so self-conscious about what others think that they pull back because they are so concerned about negative perceptions or judgments of others on them," Dr. Nelson says.

This self-conscious feeling leads to a higher stress response in those situations where they think others may be judging them.